Personal : December 1st

  As I took in a breath of fresh air, today's date appearing on my laptop screen somewhat awakens me from a slumber. Oh dear, it's December 1st. Oh no, how time pass. Yet I am still who I am without any change or difference - and though that may be a good thing for some - it makes me feel somewhat lonely and disappointed.


  An entire year has passed and I'm still me. Crying over complicated things, and not being able to stay calm. Frustrated for accidentally missing class, and getting depressed over losing a chance to make memories. I am that kind of weird person, but certainly I am me. Though I wonder if that me is the best version of myself.

  I want to be kind.

  To be able to treat everyone the same way as I would treat anyone else. To smile despite all the pain or suffering, or over the pain of heartbreak. I want to be able to smile to give strength to someone else instead of just myself, but why in the world is "my head already full enough, with only thoughts of myself?" (Sangatsu no Lion) I want to do what I love, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way.

  "For you to be able to do your best at something you like, you also have to do your best in something that you don't like." (Chihayafuru)

  I want to become strong. But yet, I realise that I am a human. Oh how painfully conscious I am over that fact. But even as a weak human I am, at least - "sukoshi demo ii kara" - I want to become a person who will be able to stop worrying my parents.

  A person who will stop worrying myself.

  May Allah help me in my path.

  1st December 2016 8:33 A.M.
  -asfiyuki-