Personal : Hello to the Future!

  I wonder why is that I started on wanting to write once more. I guess it's because lately there are some things that I am unable to convey unless I put them into words before they somehow fade away, and long after turn themselves as a fragment of my memory.

  As usual, being an after-SPM student deals with OTP - the One True Problem.

  DECIDING FOR THE FUTURE.

  And even after listening to the seniors worrying a lot about it, it never struck me on how BAD it really is, when you're the one who's facing it. Long after your high school life, stuck with no job and no commitment whatsoever, there's you who's not even 18 yet, making decisions which may affect your entire life.

  At times like this, I wish that I have a manager to help me make decisions.

  My parents never continued on higher education. So, it's a given that they never had any experience on how to get into on. My brother gets into his school on a whim, and never thought twice about it. So there's me, spending my three months not being able to make a choice.YET.


A CHOICE OF SOMETHING YOU NEED AND SOMETHING YOU LIKE

  I have always been inclined to do a job in regards of illustration. There's a bunch of schools in Malaysia which offers those courses - but heck, it really does not help for all of them to be PRIVATE. So much for wishing that a government university offers that course, which would be at least AFFORDABLE.

  Then again, people keep on questioning the future of art itself. Would it work in this country where the majority does not give a care on art except the younger generation? Or would it one day boom without any of us knowing, and become a really successful area? In fact, if I take up this course, would I get a JOB after I finish studying, and would the payment from my job be enough for me to live and pay off my STUDENT LOANS?

  I HEARD EVERYTHING ABOUT PTPTN.

  And I sure am trying to not take it. But heck, what can we all poor people do?
  We want to go and study for a better life for our family, but to pay for our studies, our family are burdened instead. In fact, we don't even know the outcome of that sacrifice.

  IT'S SCARY WHEN IT'S ALL FREAKING VAGUE

  I read from some blog I found on the Internet. The blogger said "Only you yourself knows your own significance on this world."

  Yes, in fact I do.

  My significance is to spread love all around the world, toward the comics I draw and the illustrations I make. There is a possibility that it will be something so small, and the wide, wide world may never even notice it - but I'm pretty sure that someone out there will, and by seeing them, they would realize the heart that they have left behind in pursue of their 'future' which ended up being vague for them as well.

  It's sad to the fact that in the situation I am living in, such a selfish wish can never be accepted.

  Life is not easy, that is true, alright.
  But there is no reason whatsoever to not try to LIVE.

  I hope there would come a time where everything gets better, and I would be able to accept everything as it is. When that time comes, it would be nice if I can have to chance to write it all here again.
Insha'Allah.

  May ALLAH guide us all.

  Assalamualaikum.
  Peace to be upon you.